Go with your gut
If I learned anything about planning weddings from my own nuptials, it’s this: go with your gut. My wife and I were engaged in the fall of 2018, and we started planning our wedding the following spring. In the summer of 2019, we booked our venue, photographer, and DJ for August 2020, and even secured the necessary hotel room block for our 150+ guests. But you saw our chosen wedding date, you know where this story is going. Yes, that’s right, we ended up postponing a year due to the covid pandemic!
A year after we postponed, we realized that neither of us was particularly excited about our wedding anymore. We were most concerned for the health of our loved ones, as the venue we had chosen would’ve required all of our guests to travel for the celebration. Remember “super spreader events?” We didn’t want our wedding to be one of those, even as vaccines were becoming more available. So, we listened to our intuitions and canceled the wedding. As I wrote in our “Un-Save the Date” email to our family and friends, “We’re canceling the wedding, not the marriage!” Our venue refunded our deposit, we canceled our room block, but we asked our photographer for her available for the next few months. We knew we wanted to do something, we didn’t know exactly what, but we knew we wanted her to capture it. So, we picked the latest date she gave us - May 30, 2021 - and started planning.
A few weeks before our new wedding date, we received a package from my grandfather’s cousin. Despite being uninvited, many of our loved ones continued to send wedding gifts, so this wasn’t out of the blue. The gift she sent was a simple one, but more meaningful than almost any gift I had ever received. It was a silver picture frame with a hinge in the middle, so you could have two pictures next to each other. On the right was a picture of my great-grandparents, Anna and Bill. And on the left was their wedding invitation. They were married on May 30, 1899 - one hundred and twenty two years before our wedding. It was as if the universe was reassuring us that we had made the right decision. It filled my heart to know that Joan and I would share our anniversary with my beloved ancestors. Of course, the framed photo and invitation came with us on our newly chosen wedding day!
Whether you pick up weird vibes from a florist or don’t feel right in the most stylish suit or dress, go with your gut while planning your wedding day. Or any life cycle event for that matter! Ultimately, you want to look back fondly on your special day, not wishing you had chosen a different venue or not invited a certain someone. If someone offers you advice, it doesn’t mean you’re required to take it! It sounds corny, but it’s true: trust yourself, follow your heart, and go with your gut.
